Hello my lovely readers! It’s been some time. I hope you have been doing good. Life is weird at the moment and I think I speak for everyone when I say that, but it won’t be the theme for today :)
I want to talk about my connectedness!! The quest I am on, the one I have been dying to look for and the thing I want to understand. It is like I need it to survive; to feel connected to you and the world around me. I want to know what it is: connection. It is a feeling but also something you can see. It is body language, it is a chain around your bike, it is the roots of a tree. Maybe also my roots. If I won’t feel connected ever, to anything, would I fall over? Would one whoosh of wind knock me over?
I stumbled upon this poem today by Mary Oliver called Mysteries, yes
Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous
to be understood.
How grass can be nourishing in the
mouths of the lambs.
How rivers and stones are forever
in allegiance with gravity
while we ourselves dream of rising.
How two hands touch and the bonds will
never be broken.
How people come, from delight or the
scars of damage,
to the comfort of a poem.
Let me keep my distance, always, from those
who think they have the answers.
Let me keep company always with those who say
“Look!” and laugh in astonishment,
and bow their heads.
And she made me realise, that maybe I don’t need to understand it as such as to just feel it.
I recommend you all to listen to the podcast On Being from Krista Tippett. She also has one where she interviews Mary Oliver. It is lovely.
But that aside, connectedness is intriguing me also because it is not the opposite of loneliness. I don’t feel lonely very often, but I do feel unconnected. Maybe this has to do with my urge to be around people and enjoy just watching people doing their weird life thing, this doesn’t make me feel lonely, but the unconnectedness, maybe also the feeling of being misunderstood is something else. It probably has to do with my age, the profession I chose, the time of being. (haha)
But look, I am very good at small talk (I enjoy it even) I have little connections with humans, animals, nature etc throughout my day, that is not the connection I mean now; I mean the one where you truly understand your position in the world, where you are at awe for things/people/nature. Where life gives you a warm embrace, and whispers: yes you are part of me and I am part of you, together we are unstoppable.
I listened to another podcast called How to Build a Happy Life (cliché name right? clicked on it anyway, who doesn’t want to know how to build a happy life?) and they talked about how pain and/or suffering needs to be there in order to feel happy. So I was thinking, what needs to be there in order to feel connected? Or maybe even, to want to feel connected?
and big one:
Is connection part of happiness?
I’ll leave that to simmer for a bit.
See ya next month,
Liefs Flora